My Friend Cameron And I Talk About Music And Joke About Death A Lot, An Interview

A couple months ago, right before I moved, I borderline forced my friend Cameron, pictured below shaving his face in the middle of my basement, to do an interview with me about music, comedy, and life. Listen all the way through to hear such talking points as “Seth Rogen’s Laugh,” “What Stealing Donuts From Work Would Probably Feel Like Even Though Cameron Has Never Done That,” and “Using The Word Rectum In Casual Conversation.”

Continue reading

How To Insult Someone Using Victorian Flower Language

Somewhere in the bowels of the Internet Archive there is this beautifully scanned index of the Victorian Language of Flowers. It tells you exactly what plant you should send someone to convey an emotion, and obviously most of them are about love and compliments.

But there are also no less than three plants that mean “disdain” and several that are straight up insults.

So, with no more delay, here is a definitive list of how to be mean to someone with a plant, like Queen Victoria would have done.

Continue reading

Interview With A Ghost Hunter

2spooky4u

Looking for a good way to combine Learning and Spookiness this October?

I’ve got you covered.

About a month ago I got the chance to interview a ghost hunter named Steve Barrel.

By heckling him over e-mail repeatedly.

Strategies aren’t important here. What’s important is that Steve works for a paranormal research and investigation organization in Raleigh called Haunted NC, that it’s a real thing, and thatI’ve got some answers. Some spooky answers.

So fasten your spooky seatbelts, hold on to your spooky hats, and don’t you dare try to tell me how many times is too many times to use the word spooky in a post. Not this month. Not while Pumpkin Santa is watching.

Continue reading

Things Meant Different Things in the 50s

I’m not really going to waste any time trying to introduce this one. This is a Batman comic from 1951 where the word “boner” is used gratuitously and it makes me giggle.

In the interest of journalistic integrity, I’m including the operational definition for the word “boner” at the time the comic was created. If that ruins the fun for you, so be it. Anyway, enjoy 20 straight panels of the word “boner” being lobbed at your eyeballs.

screen-shot-2016-09-21-at-4-17-54-pm

batman_66

Continue reading

Adopt A Word

The Oxford English Dictionary used to have a great little side website that  called Adopt a Word where visitors would be asked to ‘adopt’ an obsolete word off of a list and commit to using the word to give it a second life. At the time I found it I was mistakenly convinced that the path to becoming The World’s Coolest Eighth Grader was having a stellar and frustratingly obscure vocabulary, and although this didn’t pan out (and continues not to even to this day, where I am still publicly mocked for having used the word “flotsam” in a script), I still loved popping in on OED and Adopt A Word every once in a while.

I was in love with this website and was heartbroken to find that it for whatever reason no longer exists. So this is my (tiny) tribute to that site.

Continue reading

Ant-Man: A Scientific Inquiry

Recently I sat down with my family to watch the Marvel film Ant-Man, starring Paul Rudd, having no idea that it would promptly ruin my life. In the film no small number of plot points defy the laws of the physical reality all of us live in, but one of them absolutely haunted me. In the climax of the film, as Paul Rudd faces off against Bald Guy From House Of Cards backed by his loyal swarm of hyperintelligent flying ants, B.G.F.H.O.C. decides that the best course of action is to, of course, fire blindly at the ants. In the process, Paul Rudd’s favorite ant and loyal steed Antony is literally shot out of the air, leaving a stunned but intact Paul Rudd midair and in the market for a new steed.

Continue reading